January 2011
so far tonight i have
done drugs
self harmed
moved out
filed for a CHINS petition
left without giving a fuck
plans for this weekend include crying crying and more crying
how i'm ringing in my new years
in my room alone because i can’t legally leave
crying and self mutilating
December 2010
i'm way to touchy and sensative for my own good
i let the littlest shit get to me when it shouldn’t.
feeling
ugly moody fat disgusting gross crabby depressed craving a cig ugly like a big bus should just run me over alone lonely blank upset angry hating myself self mutilating heavy tired bile stupid naseous depressed mania a lack of self control out of control mess mess mess mess mess screwed pissed never amounting to anything fat fat fat depressed upset suicidal fat unhappy hate like i need to go curl...
first three word answers
sorrowful
insightful
cloudy
@dino
ugh i’m a shit place right now
and my computer isn’t working so i’m on my phone only
and that won’t load the tiny chat :(
i’ll talk to you later though maybe (:
Anonymous asked: can you post your icon? you are adorable :)
goal for 2011
be totally honest on this blog
stop caring about what other people will say.
if you are upset and suicidal,
if you’ve taken too many pills,
if someone has made you smile so big,
if you begin to reconsider,
write it all down unedited.
it will be raw stop caring and be honest to yourself.
there's nothing more in the world that i want...
than to snuggle up with my best friend
and have a good cry.
i just feel all numb inside. numb numb numb
she makes me feel comfortable enough so that i don’t put up walls, so that i can cry comfortably in front of her.
i don’t cry in front of people, i used to. that just made me feel weak and worse. i can’t open up to people because i don’t know how to speak. i feel...
what about perfection?
can it, has it been achieved?
is it in the eye of the beholder?
do you believe that you have another half, a soul...
or is that just a peice of arrogant fairy tales?
or am i just a jaded little girl?
don't let me be misunderstood
i just don’t quite know how to view the world
has a total stranger ever changed your perspective...
well?
do you think that you've ever left an impact on...
are you permanently embedded in them?
shitty person should get her shit straight
before she takes someone else down with her,
you deserve better
than this unstable girl you think you know.
1 tag
i wish you had texted me first this morning
i hate
how you
never care about what i write anymore,
how you never react.
i suppose i just have to fucking accept it.
so i heard you miss me
well, i miss you too.
a lot actually.
just realized that i havn't taken my meds in two...
maybe that’s why i’ve been feeling like a total piece of shit/wanting to jump in front of a roller coaster?
ijijilkmjflf;kmdsflkse nevelkvnlwenv why won’t this shitty feeling be gone?
i just want to fucking be relatively happy with myself.
lifeislostlove asked: I want you in my bed... get over here now... KTHXBAI
lifeislostlove asked: And who might your last post be about missy?
lifeislostlove asked: And who might your last post be about missy?
3 words →
so maybe baby tell me what you are
ugh can i just get home so i can kiss you again?
it’s not like i’ve kissed you a lot, i just want it to mean something this time.
not just a quick peck, but something that makes you think,
something that makes you smile before you go to sleep.
lifeislostlove asked: I want you in my bed... get over here now... KTHXBAI
oh why, why, why, why, why, why are you quick to...
$20 away from changing my name.
dinobearthemighty:
Jussayin’.
CONGRATS CONGRATS
you've got a lovely way with words
must be the way you see the world
i want her legs
to her body
to her calves
come on baby
thinking about going all amber rose on my hair....
yes? no? ideas? oppinions?
i need a new hair style
driving back to MA
blasting shwayze
windows down on the highway
wearing sunglasses
eating strawberry icecrean
now all i need is a fat blunt and a cute girl who knows all the lyrics by my side.
it's not like you're ever off my mind
just wanted to let you know,
maybe you’ll read this and smile, and then think of me,
or maybe you’ll just read this and deny it’s about you, because that’s what you do,
or maybe you won’t even ever see this at all, because you don’t read what i write anymore,
maybe you don’t care anymore.
