ramble

happy national art museum day! now go look at some fucking art

if i never say anything to anyone, and the don’t know me then the only thing they can judge is the outside. at parties i find myself glued to the couch with five empty beer cans as my only company and sometimes the sofa will vibrate with the noise from the basement below. it’s already been decided that i will probably end up working a job that takes up my entire life because i don’t ever want to make anything personal or reveal too much. all i ever want to do is run run run away because i am permanently embarrassed and ashamed of the stupidest, most irrelevant things.

drunk as fuck and kinda dying sorta

life is so precious, one moment it can be freely wandering around and then the next some big metal machine can try and take it away. when you told me what happened, the first thing i worried about was your big brain that does incredible things, and if you would be okay. we only have one head, and one heart but i’d like to think that if both of those keep pumping, keep moving, then we will keep being. i’ll drop by the hospital where you are learning to walk again after i get out of work, bring you some cookies, a book of my favorite poetry and i’ll sit at the foot of those weird beds and talk to you through the scratchy sheets until the nurses kick me out at 8pm, when visiting hours are over.

trust in a relationship is something i value very highly. it will never be my place to tell someone else’s story, simply because it is not my own. to when and whom they decide to share it with is up to their own discretion. i just wouldn’t want to compromise an important friendship by breaking what was said in confidence.

tell me why the only time i ever get crazy horny is when i’m on my period

oh boy oh boy the new michelangelo exhibit just opened at the museum of fine arts excuse while i go cream myself

i don’t think i’ve felt quite this alone in a while. literally have been feeling like a complete alien, as if i was rasied on a different planet. it feels as if i’m spinning this way this way this way, it feels alright everything is okay gravity is pulling the right way and then BOOM there is a switch up my cycle is different from everyone else and i keep crashing into everything until some celestial objects smacks me hard and i am sent off rocketing into the outskirts of the universe….. there are people everywhere, but for some reason something does not click between myself and them. noisey trains, heels clicking on pavement, cars honking, laughter, these are the sounds of life. i want to be the same, i want to blend in. i want to be happy.

my laptop is broken so until i get that fixed consider me a terrible blogger.